Positive IQ Required

Not for personal use.
Wow. Just ... wow.

Not for cleaning or sanitizing skin.
Do not use as a diaper wipe or for personal cleansing.
But what if I'm really ... dirty?

Not a sleep pillow.
So, for what exactly should we use this soft, comfy pillow?

Do not crush, chew or break tablet.
But they look so tasty! I want to munch on them like Swee-Tarts.

Keep out of the reach of children.
Yep, that toddler toothpaste is off-limits. Sorry, Emily.
No more toothbrushing for you.

For external use only.
Bacteria outside = bad. Bacteria inside = good.


And finally, two for the "I'm putting this sh*t on my face?!" award.

Huh. I guess Mike is going to have to stop welding and shaving at the same time.
And I have to stop cooking while putting on my roseacea cream.
Damn, those were such timesavers.

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