Miss Manners

Emily and I had a bit of a standoff this afternoon.

She was about to leave Madison's birthday party and I told Emily to say Thank You to Miss Liz. She (Emily) clamped her mouth closed in her usual "I'm shy and can't say that" pose. And I told her to say Thank You again. And Emily stuck her fingers in her mouth.

And that's when I pulled out my bargaining chip. I held up the goodie bag and helium princess balloon that Liz had just handed to me and said "If you don't say thank you, I will give these back to Miss Liz."

Emily still refused to say thank you. So after several false starts, I handed the goodie bag back to Liz and we left.

Emily lost it. She was shrieking and crying and trying to throw herself on the floor (which is THE biggest and fastest way to tick me off, especially when we're in public). We made it to the exit area of the bounce place where Madison had her party and I decided to give Emily One Last Chance to get her goodie bag. I sat down and asked her what she had to do to get that bag. And she told me she had to say thank you. I told her if we went back there and she didn't say thank you to Miss Liz, not only would we walk away (AGAIN) without the goodie bag, but the Spankin' Hands would be coming out when we got to the car.

We walked back to the party room (which felt like it was MILES away, but that's mostly because I had Lucy on my hip the whole time) and Emily said thank you and gave Miss Liz a hug. All of the adults in the room cheered with me and Emily was given her goodie bag.

I have long said that I know my kids (all kids, really) are Walking Birth Control. They can't help it. They are messy, they are loud, they fart and burp and throw up and don't understand that we don't do those things in public. They pitch fits over minor things and spill goldfish at the most inconvenient time imaginable. All of this and more helps the childless decided to remain so until their biological clock overwhelms them.

But, even as I know that my kids are WBC, I insist that they be polite Walking Birth Control. They must say "Please" and "Thank You" and "Excuse me" and "I'm Sorry" and so on. I realized recently that though the girls are very good about saying please and thank you to our immediate family, they (especially Emily) don't do as well being polite to other adults. And that is more important than them being polite to us.

So, I decided this morning's party was the line in the sand. Emily WILL start saying Thank You to adults.

She is incredibly stubborn and moderately shy. This? Not such a good combination. But we will work on it and she'll get better.

I also want to work with her on the interrupting of the Mommy when she's talking with another adult or when she's on the phone.

I am hopeful that we won't have to repeat the party scene many times before Emily (and by extension, Lucy) realize that it's just so much easier to say Thank You and be done.